Have you ever wondered what really happens at a Themed Kertsi? If a theme sounds interesting and you’re curious what is discussed and how, this article is for you!
Usually Themed Kertsi evenings attract 10-20 participants. Depending on the theme not everyone participates in the conversation, however, those interested can discuss the topic in a small group of people in a dedicated space. Themed Kertsi evenings are almost always moderated by one of the Häkki’s Board members.
For example, during the recent sadism-and-masochism-themed kertsi we asked participants if they identify with sadistic and/or masochistic tendencies. Questions like this give everyone a quick idea of how each person is involved in the discussion. After that the discussion moderator opens up the conversation by asking topical questions. The first one to answer the question is always the moderator after whom the turn moves to other participants. The discussion proceeds depending on participants’ answers and the questions that arise from those without a strict script. In some situations, the topic that was discussed earlier might be brought back to everyone’s attention if there is a need for it. None of the discussion participants have to share their personal experiences if they don’t feel like doing so. However, these conversations are always more rewarding and fruitful if more people agree to share their ideas and experiences with the group. Often already the first people answer the question thoroughly and the following participants might not have any extensive comments to add.
Normally themed conversations last about 1,5 hours, but at best themes can be discussed for 3 hours without worry and with a sense of humour. Even though topics are usually serious, the humour is always there. No one is judged based on their opinions or preferences.
Last year themed kertsi evenings were held on the following topics:
- Petplay
- Daddydom/littlegirl
- Switching
- Sadism & masochism
- Submission & domination
- Consensuality and communication
- Primal & Struggle play
- Hardware store special
And more is promised! Topics are selected according to the interests of our members, so if you are interested in a discussion on a particular subject, you can suggest the topic as a Kertsi theme!
Finally, we’d like to present a few example questions and answers from sadism and masochism themed kertsi that will show the typical discussion style:
Masochists: Do the circumstances of a session matter a lot? What about the pain giver? What aspects affect how you experience pain?
“It matters, and a lot. Stress is a big factor determining how I handle and experience pain. Pain at least for me is a great stress reliever. However, there are days on which there’s very little you can do about it. You’re not prepared for it mentally, and the thought process goes wrong way from the very beginning and thus nothing comes out of it.”
“The pain giver is extremely important. In the early days I was happy if anyone wanted to whip me, but now after a few years I’m not interested in just random suggestions. It feels much better if you feel something towards the person and also that person can usually read you much better than a stranger.”
“As said before, stress and mindset as well as who is whipping you are important. It’s also significant how it’s done. Wrong kind of pain feels horrible, and also if it’s caused by wrong kinds of tools, it’s hard to enjoy it. Biting…it just feels unbearable way too often.”
Sadist: Is it important that the pain you give is exactly the kind of pain the submissive person wants or do you want to also hurt the person in ways they don’t necessarily like to be hurt but that could provoke different reactions? For example, making an enjoyable thing unpleasant or surprising?
“Of course, it’s important that the other person enjoys it in some way. Even though I’m a sadistic bastard, giving pain to a person who doesn’t get anything from it, doesn’t work for me. In that case it’s hard to enjoy that myself also.”
“It doesn’t mean that the pain is only and exactly what the other person wants. Start with those tools that bring pleasure to the other person. After that you can move on to nastier tools and try to read the person’s reactions: are they looking at you like their begging for mercy or does their ass return to its place after a short while to wait for another strike, or are they trying to escape and give you a look that says “You idiot, you’re ruining the enjoyment with this tool”, which probably means that it’s better to move back to some nicer instrument.”
“Reactions are the main point of this and thus you want to get nice reactions from the other person. The element of surprise and discomfort are however nice occasionally. For that, I like to give a few hits on the bottom of the foot or whip out a rubber band and snap the other person with it. Something like that to mess with the situation, but only occasionally, not all the time.”
“An unwanted reaction for me is crying. Unless you know that the other person is into crying. If you know that you can whip someone even though they are crying, it’s nice to continue and then be gentle afterwards. But at those times, when the other person for some reason is in a sensitive state and normal whipping causes them to start crying unexpectedly, that can be a bit scary and then it’s necessary to end the play and hold the person in your arms.”
More information about Kertsi evenings can be found from Häkki members newsletter. Welcome aboard!
Thank you Gigi for the translation.